my stomach is in knots.....

my stomach hurts really bad...... first off: i have sinusitis and bronchitis so all the sinus drainage is making my stomach feel nauseous (lovely picture, right?).... and then second: i have a Z-pack for my meds and that hurts my tummy......... but my main reason would be the third: i'm really upset. Today was the funeral for one of my dad's close close friends... but my dad wasn't able to make it b/c he had to be down in Houston at MD Anderson for more scans..... i feel really bad that he wasn't able to make this.. i know it kills him... but it also kills me b/c it makes the reality of his illness overbearing... that he is sick enough to miss one of his best friend's funeral.... it makes me sick. and then there's reason number 4: he's down there getting scans to see how this round of chemo and radiation went... last time he had scans they showed cancer in 2 more places.... ... i wish with allll my heart that the scans could come back clear... or clearer... but i know that my heart is only set to break. Watching my dad fail in this battle of cancer has been the absolute hardest thing i've gone through.... if life get's any harder i'm not sure i can take it.

so this totally isn't a happy post but.... it's what i'm going through right now... and it hurts too much to hold it inside. oh, and i'm pms-ing too.... yay me.