Monday, March 16, 2009

Random picture post... b/c i feel like it.

Here's me with blonde and black hair! It was so cute except i didn't know about "blonde toning shampoo"... so as soon as my blonde went brassy i changed it.. darn. FeJee mermaid!!!!! haha.

aww....... except that top one kinda looks like a ferby... creeper.

tatooing a pig carcuss...?

baby hippo!!!!

the last two are owl tattoos b/c one of my fave bands, The Devil Wears Prada, has two guys in it that have really awesome owl tattoos.. couldn't find a good pic online .. i have one at my house though! their owls are awesome. here's some other good ones.. the first one is AMAZING!

OH EM GEE!!! they are so cute!

okay and that's all i have.... i've been sick for 3 days and really have nothing interesting to talk about.. except that i started my jewelry site.. but i already wrote about that on FB.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


My boy is GONE! He is f*ing GONE. Like yesterday is GONE.
I don't know if he quit or got fired or what... i plan to find out hopefully. But i am SOOOOO... not... happy.
Now i could kick myself for never really talking to him. I mean, i'm sure he wouldn't have liked me but.. who knows.. maybe he would have.. if i would have not ignored him.
Someone punch me in the face next time you see me.
Sad, sad, SAD day.
Now i have nothing to look forward to at work. However, my anxiety might be slightly lower... but my depression will be higher. HA. damn.
anyways... i have one day off tomorrow and then work 9 days straight AGAIN... boo. 9 boring boyless days.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


My friend Stacy's Dad passed away.
I've known Stacy since 7th grade and i know all she had to go through with her dad's heatlh problems. It will be easier on her family now but i know they are still hurting. Please pray for Stacy and her sister Stephanie and their mom, Sherie.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

i've always been paranoid about developing a mental illness...

In the past month or so i have finally like, 120% accepted the fact that i seriously need to be on anti-anxiety meds or anti-depressants... for over a year now i have not, for even a moment, felt at peace, half-way content, or even okay. I am constantly paranoid that something bad is going to happen. Or i think about sad/scarey things constantly and can't make my mind focus on anything else. I cry almost every day.. when i used to only cry one day out of the month (the heaviest PMS day).
So anyways... i need to ask my doctor about that SOON. Sometime's i feel like the world is just going to collapse in on me or explode and there's nothing i can do. I feel frantic a lot. And at night when i hear my furnace humming it sounds like fighter jets coming toward my house to bomb it. PARANOID.
But i don't want my doctor to send me to a therapist or something.. cause that's not what i want. at all. NO. and i dont' have insurance yet... oh well.