my stomach is in knots.....

my stomach hurts really bad...... first off: i have sinusitis and bronchitis so all the sinus drainage is making my stomach feel nauseous (lovely picture, right?).... and then second: i have a Z-pack for my meds and that hurts my tummy......... but my main reason would be the third: i'm really upset. Today was the funeral for one of my dad's close close friends... but my dad wasn't able to make it b/c he had to be down in Houston at MD Anderson for more scans..... i feel really bad that he wasn't able to make this.. i know it kills him... but it also kills me b/c it makes the reality of his illness overbearing... that he is sick enough to miss one of his best friend's funeral.... it makes me sick. and then there's reason number 4: he's down there getting scans to see how this round of chemo and radiation went... last time he had scans they showed cancer in 2 more places.... ... i wish with allll my heart that the scans could come back clear... or clearer... but i know that my heart is only set to break. Watching my dad fail in this battle of cancer has been the absolute hardest thing i've gone through.... if life get's any harder i'm not sure i can take it.

so this totally isn't a happy post but.... it's what i'm going through right now... and it hurts too much to hold it inside. oh, and i'm pms-ing too.... yay me.

SO... the other day on facebook i posted that i want snow and lots of it..... and i got a blizzard... and i didn't quite make it home from work.... it took me an hour and a half to get ALMOST home... i had to put on my flashers and stop 3 times to bang ice off my windshield wipers b/c they were so icy they wouldn't wipe ANYTHING off my windshield... like, i lit-er-ally could NOT see anything.. so anyways... then i get 2 miles from home... and go to turn on the street and kinda miss b/c the visibility was at like, 10%... ridiculousness... so i got my car stuck.. thought i was gonna have to walk home but my mom and brother came to get me... very slowly... hahha. we tried to push my car out but managed to get it a little further in of course..... ANYWAYS.... despite the craziness i am still LOVING this white Christmas! i really really really wanted a white Christmas for my dad.... very possibly his last Christmas.... but that's not a good thing to talk about... so anyways.....

i got some cool stuff! i got a lava lamp... a singing hamster that sings "i like to move it move it", 5 cds- Paramore "Brand New Eyes", Blindside "a Thought Crushed my Mind", Three Days Grace "one x", Copeland "in motion", and Saosin "In Search Of Solid Ground"... pretty excited about those!!! and i also got The Avesta (holy book for Zoroastrianism) so that will be an interesting read... and then super exciting... my brother got me, my mom, and my dad a Wii and a Wii fit... it told me i am obese. heh.... so anyways, that will be good! i did some hula hooping , stepping, and jogging... good times. i also raced cows. ;)

in other news.... i still hate Dillards... and now i hate them more b/c they didn't close the store even though the whole state of Oklahoma was under a state of emergency and tulsa facing a blizzard ... which i had to (not so successfully) drive through.... i'm supposed to work tomorrow but we'll see about that! psh.... retards. ;) so i'm planning on starting back to school in the summer. i'll have 3 semesters of pre-reqs b/c in my associates of liberal arts degree i pretty much have no science credits at allllll. wasn't planning on going that route. anyways... ... so i should probably apply sometime soon since i haven't done that yet.... such a slacker.

i'll have my credit card completely paid off within a week... this will be the first time it's had a zero balance in like... 4 years... THAT will be exciting. i'm super pumped!

anyways that's about all that's going on with me lately.... nothing too exciting... i'm gonna go listen to my new cds now..... peace out! hope you all had a very merry Christmas!