Saturday, February 7, 2009

insomnia-induced thoughts on life...

it's 1 something in the morning.. i've already tried to go to sleep but can't... so here i am... typing a blog.. and since it's the wee hours of the morning and i'm delirious it WILL be long...
SO.. i've been thinking a lot lately about IF ONLY...
IF ONLY i could go back in time and do things differently.. be a different person, a cooler person, a prettier person... a more accomplished person...
IF ONLY i had more money... i could go to this school, i could get this degree, i could buy this thing i simply can't live without...
IF ONLY i had this talent... had this look...
I've come to realize that i (and most Americans) are NEVER satisfied. with our belongings, our looks, our way of life... nothing. never. We worry about SO MUCH stuff, such vain useless junk...
We worry about which of our 30 or more pairs of shoes will look best with the outfit we are wearing... while someone else worries about how they will get another pair of shoes when their ONLY PAIR they have that they've worn for 3 years straight finally falls apart...
We get upset b/c we pay so much money to go to the doctor and get medicine for our common colds .. while someone else lies on a cot on a dirt floor under a tent, that's called a hospital, dying because they have no money to buy medicine... if it's even available to them.
We sit indecisively in fancy restaraunts deciding which over-priced meal to throw our money away on while people in other countries eat stuff we wouldn't touch. Like pumpkins. We may sugar them up and make pie out of them or cut them up during the holidays and stick a light inside them... what would people from other countries think of that?? People who rely on pumpkins to survive.. they eat them... they don't have ovens to make them tasty.. they just break them open and eat them. i would GAG. but they are considered lucky if they have some to grow. they are also considered lucky if they have a backbreaking or completely monotonous job that they do all day to make what would amount to pennies...
We stand in the hot shower for 10-30 minutes while some people have to walk 10 to 30 miles to get safe drinking water...
We envy others who have larger houses than ours.. while many have no house at all.
We get annoyed with our family members while millions are left orphaned because all their family members have died....
We pity ourselves and keep tally of what we DON'T have instead of looking at what we DO have.... we take SO MUCH for granted..
just something to think about...

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